The Terrible R's

It's not always easy to follow the path that we have set out in life without having encountered some winding roads along the way.
Journeys are never really like straight lines but more like curved ones resembling mountains. I like to think of goals as looking like those 'pieces of art' that you do in elementary art class. The one where your teacher says so today we are going to take our line 'for a walk'. Does anybody's line ever stay the same? It's all muddled, criss crossed and pretty much looks like a chaotic string.

Surprisingly we can say the same about our lives and our plans. We have an idea or goal of what we want to do, we attempt to follow this but then somewhere along the road things end up being not quite what we expected. When we are faced with challenges such as these it's definitely time to stop and face our terrible R's. Refocus, Rethink and Redo.

Refocusing can seem like a daunting task to many and more so to those of us who aren't aware of our life situations taking control of us instead of us taking control of it. Refocusing helps us to practice mindfulness by allowing ourselves to take the time to think about whether or not we have be following the path that we so anxiously set out to follow. When we take the time to acknowledge our achievements and failures we gain a better sense of how we can change aspects of ourselves and possibly our circumstances to work around our ultimate goal at the end.

Much of refocusing is really doing a lot of rethinking. Both are seen as a 'couple' dependent on the other. Rethinking allows us to discover if our goals are really met and also gives us the opportunity to decide whether or not we really want to focus on this goal or maybe shift to something more attainable. Nothing is cast in stone and we can always make changes based on our wants and needs. When we rethink, we allow our self time for introspection and self-discovery as many times we make rash decisions without really spending a considerable amount of time thinking about the repercussions.

While some may disagree with being able to redo things in their lives based on circumstances and situations, one thing is useful about the concept of redoing. It gives us a second chance at perfecting something. It may be a bit far fetched if you've graduated with a degree in nursing and you decide that culinary arts is really your passion. You may not exactly want to redo an entire program in hospitality and management just so that you can be a chef however, in the long run the act of 'redoing' may actually be beneficial in the long run as it will not only provide new opportunities for growth but also provide you with a broader perspective as well as the chance to learn new things.

No one says that starting from scratch isn't hard. In fact kudos to those who have done things all over again. These huge leaps have not only been gratifying but have been experiences that have made life more fulfilling. Often times the ones with the harshest struggles are the ones that end up the most content in life. That's because they weren't afraid to mess up and have to redo anything. Redoing actually gives us the chance to fall in 'love' with whatever we are doing again as we treat it as a first experience and with every first experience we give it our best.

When forming goals always factor incorporating the terrible R's at some point. It will definitely help to stare you on the right track and ensure that you are on the road to achieving success.


Below is the wonderful story of Former Miss USA Universe 1998 Shawnae Jebbia who chose to 'redo' and aspect of her life despite later having a hearing impairment. She was a television host and a successful fitness trainer and has now decided to pursue graduate studies in nursing. This inspiring video shows us real perseverance despite having hiccups along our path to success!

Practicing Mindfulness

How many of us can fill an entire page detailing our everyday activities? We're not just jotting down some random notes that look like a shipping list, we're really detailing and describing each event to the fullest. This almost seems impossible to do. Who knows what they did today? The day went by so quickly that we didn't even realize.

When you find yourself questioning your ability to do a simple task such as this you need to stop and ask yourself a question. Am I really living and experiencing life or am I just existing? For the majority of us existing seems to be more of what we do in our daily lives because we are just too caught up in the mayhem of our hectic lifestyles to actually practice mindfulness.

Strange enough we use the term mindfulness without a full understanding of the term and what it means to be 'mindful'. Being mindful is very simple, it is simply being in the moment and experiencing it at that given time. Being mindful can be being stuck in traffic and allowing yourself to take note of how you feel being stuck in your car waiting to move. You observe your emotions. You are agitated, uneasy, upset, angry. Your heart rate is slightly elevated. You look for ways to vent this frustration. You observe the other cars that are alongside you and the other drivers as well as passengers waiting to move. Allowing yourself to observe as well as experience these notions is in essence what mindfulness is. You aren't thinking of what to get for dinner or if your favorite pasta sauce is still on sale at the supermarket but you are in tuned with how you feel at the present moment.

Being mindful is staying and focusing on the 'here and now' in your life. It helps you to deal with the issues affecting you at hand. Mindfulness can also mean just enjoying the moment for what is. One of the ways people have taught mindfulness is n a practical sense, eating. Mindful eating allows one to savor the food that they are consuming without losing focus on everything that food has to offer. Mindfully eating an apple one's focus is on the apple and everything the apple has to offer you.

Observe the color of the apple, the pigments. Observe the texture of the apple, it's smooth surface. Observe the smell of the apple, fresh and subtle. Observe the taste of the apple as your teeth grip the apple and you dive into your first bite. Is it succulent, juicy, mouth watering and sweet? Or is it dry and sour? Allowing yourself to be mindful keeps your mind and body in tune with your emotions as well as your behaviors to different stimuli.

While it is easier said than done, being mindful really does not take up any of our time however, we are programmed to think that allowing ourselves to be caught up in the moment is actually wasting time as we can be doing so much more.
What is more important than becoming more self-aware? Can we even put a time limit to becoming more aware of how we feel and what's happening in our lives?

It is indeed much easier said than done to find time to get our tasks done than it is to get the most important task of all done, figuring out ourselves and working on us. There are the sayings the best things in life are free and it's the little things in life that make us happy. We should therefore stop trying to complicate our lives and take note of these popular sayings so that we avoid creating and perpetuating problems in our life that we have the power to eliminate.

Stop and Smell the Daisies: Looking up

Stop and Smell the Daisies: Looking up: "It's been three years since we fell under with the 'modern' great depression. Some of us lost our jobs, our homes, couldn't find employmen..."

The Sweeter side of Sour

Walt Disney should have really been idolized as a martyr. He didn’t only create an theatrical empire - he defined the term ‘hedonism’. Disney’s philosophy, talent and unrivalled creativity led him to establish a haven for adults and children. His philosophy was to enjoy life in every way possible. For in every movie he made there was  always a happy ending.

A spoonful of sugar is a classic song with lyrics that help remind us to make everything in life sweeter. There is the over clichéd saying when life gives you lemons made lemonade, well I think I’ve come up with an even better idea. While adding the sugar to make it sweeter takes off the bitter taste, the bitter taste is still in the mixture with just the taste being altered. Take those lemons that life throws you and make nectar. Nectar is pure and sweet. There isn’t a trace of anything bitter. By the same token take your bitterness, pessimism, negativity and all the things that are unsweet and get rid of them.

Create  something fresh and new-your own sweetness. Form your nectar. Starting afresh by looking at looking at things from a positive perspective is a good way to start. Regardless of how negative something is you can always look at the positive outcome that emerges from it. Take some advice from Walt’s  A spoonful of sugar

In ev`ry job that must be done, there is an element of fun.
You find the fun and snap the job`s a game.
And ev`ry task you undertake becomes a pice of cake.
A lark! A spree! It`s verry clear to see.

That a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
Medicine go dow-wown, medicine go down.
Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down
in the most delightful way. - (excerpt from A spoonful of sugar)

Adding that "sweetness" to your life opens up endless posibilites for the future. No one really expects someone who is facing many obstacles to be cheeful and optimistic. In fact people look forward to pitying you and comforting you. We're never expected to look for the light at the end of the tunnel although we're told that it's there at the end. Rather that searching for hope from other people, we must  cultivate hope in ourselves. Hope is light, it is positivity and it is the nectar that we need to sweeten our lives.

Remember that life is what we make of it. We are going to be thrown around like a frisby to different corners, strange places and unexpected situations will arise which we have not a clue how to deal with.

Transforming these upsets into grand innovations enables us to gain strength as well as explore other inner powers that we possess. So next time someone tells you to stay sweet you better take that literally!

Why Worry

When was the last time you didn't worry about something in your life ? I'm pretty sure your answer to that question is never. There is always something to worry about. If some one asked you the purpose of worry in your life what would you say? The answer is plain. None. Worry has no purpose in your life. It gets you nowhere. You can't progress from worrying over a situation nor can you do anything to change it. What you can do is stay calm about it and let life take its course. Now I will admit I'm not one of those people to do that. I've been a  worrier many times in my life and I have suffered many times over.

Only today I received an extremely important document in the mail that had been sent through Fed Ex 3 weeks earlier. The document however, had an error on it. Given the nature of the documents I decided to use a courier service rather than regular mail to ensure   it was securely sent. Little did I know that my hassle free dealing with Fed Ex would now cause me a worry some  two weeks. I had to have the document resent only this time I was not willing to incur charges from a courier service and opted for regular mail.

So what did I do for two weeks? Well worry of course! Every day I checked my mailbox to see whether I had any mail and of course every day would be another disappointment. After the second week I began to speak to myself. What use is it in worrying over something I have no control over? Are sleepless nights really worth it? I will eventually receive it in the mail. If I am patient enough I will receive it. My worry had created panic. All I could think of was receiving that letter. When would I? That was all I kept asking myself.  Surprisingly today I was not agitated at all. I was calm and guess what I saw? My letter waiting for me in the mail.

Two weeks and 30 heart attacks later,  I am worry free. I do have lots more to 'worry' about. Am I going to do that? Absolutely not. There is no need to create unnecessary unhappiness and stress in your life. If you want to live a great life then you must change your attitude and outlook. Will you worry or will you leave it let it be? We're too busy worrying to even see the seasons change before us. Stop worrying and start living.
Naturally I'm ending this with the anthem of all anthems! The happy song :)

Creativity is The Spice of Life

You've heard of diversity as being the spice of life. Here is my spin to it. Like diversity, creativity involves different elements. Some elements are known to us others are unknown. Unknown in the sense that it has never been contrived. It's completely new, radical and innovative. Albert Einstein one said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge." This makes absolute sense. While one may have the knowledge and expertise in a particular area what use is their intelligence if they haven't got innovative ideas to enhance their concepts. They then become monotonous and dull.

Author John C.Maxwell highlights in his book How Successful People Think, the importance of creative thinking. He mentions that one of the benefits from creative thinking is the value it adds to everything. He says"Creativity is being able to see what everybody else has seen and think what nobody else has thought so that you can do what nobody else has done."

Just think about how a simple concept as Facebook, intended for college students to network has now changed we look at the word 'social networking'. It almost makes the term look as though  it could have been coined by networks such as  Facebook or Twitter. The innovation of a college student with a concept that wasn't the first to be thought of but was the first to be executed in such as, format led him to being one of the youngest most successful entrepreneurs today.

Who knew if some twenty odd years ago someone was thinking of a similar concept. Today someone has actually gone ahead and made than concept a reality. This certainly doesn't mean that Mark Zuckerberg is a prodigy of any sort. He is one individual whose creativity gave him the foresight to develop such a network that could be used to connect people across the globe.

There is a myth that people are 'born' creative. Creativity isn't always something inherent in individuals. It can also be developed. We are all blessed with the ability to imagine. As adults we seldom utilize our creativity like we used to as children where we created our  own make believe world. Remember when you would 'pretend' to be your favorite star or 'imagine' you were in a particular place. You never thought of yourself as being silly. Being creative was fun, exciting and enchanting. The same applies for your creative ideas that you share in your adulthood. Make them as thrilling as you did when you were a child. Show the same amount of zeal and wonder in getting them off the ground.

It's been said that the most successful  people never planned to be they just kept doing what they were good at and the rest just happened. Keep doing whatever you are great at. Let your creativity take control. After all there is no telling where your idea may end up!
This video takes creativity to another level. Who knew using an 'x-ray' effect to morph different images could add a deeper meaning to the video as it relates to rebirth.

Accepting Other People's Differences

Let's face it no one is perfect. We'd all like to think that we don't have flaws but we do. It's what makes us human. Using ourselves as a yardstick to compare to others is a terrible mistake that we should never make. Every individual is unique in their talents, abilities, likes and dislikes. We should respect them for that instead of trying to find fault with them because of our own predilections. By disliking them for not being what we would like them to be, we are trying to change who they are. The world is as diverse and multicultural today because people aren't the same. They are all different and that's what makes it so great.

It's easy for us to criticize everything and compare one thing with another. What we should really think about is how effective is this? It doesn't change anything. People remain the same. If we can't change something about someone then embrace it. Accepting people for who they are really shows that we are able to look beyond their faults such that we forget that they exist because we are so focused on their outstanding qualities that help us enrich our lives.

Tolerance is a significant trait that helps us in becoming more accepting of others and their differences. Just like everything else in life that we must tolerate like having to line up for an hour in the grocery store during the Thanksgiving holiday, so too must we use this tolerance in dealing with people. Whether it's  a lover, a sibling, a friend, co-worker, neighbor or parent learn to love them for who they are. As I wrote in my previous blog, we must make an effort to see the good in everything. Seek out the good in others, focus on all the positive aspects and eliminate all the negatives. By doing this we will learn to appreciate those dear to us rather than allow ourselves to become miserable about petty differences that create more tension. People aren't perfect but we can perfect the way we see them!

While this is a love song. One guy surely knows how to love his woman for everything she is worth. We definitely need more of these around for sure!

There is Good in Everything Bad

It's Monday morning. You wake up and its pouring outside. Instantly your mood changes, you think to yourself what a gloomy day it is indeed. You get dressed quickly and hop into the car only to be stuck in traffic because of the horrible weather conditions. You're late for work. Strange enough, that report that you turned in gets approval from your boss and awaits you on your desk. As you sit down to look at it, the phone rings. It's you're boss. He's pleased with the report. You can now go ahead with your project. Gloomy day? Late? Oh right! you happened to forget that this was going to be your worst day ever. Nasty weather plus Monday blues? The bad weather was actually a huge blessing. It  allowed your boss to ease off a bit on your work load and make your life a bit easier. Who knew, had it been a sunny Friday morning he might have way too much energy to put into the report and find a million more problems with it.

Many situations we encounter unfold the same way. There are going to be countless situations we wished never happened. From everything bad there is always something good that comes out of it. I don't really believe that people change. I believe over time their attitude towards others does. Working and dealing with difficult people is indeed an added burden to deal with. The good that we must try to find is the the lesson it teaches us about tolerance and strength. It takes a strong person to overcome adversity. Are you going to emerge a stronger person or will you sink under pressure. It is way easier said than done but essentially it tests our patience and resilience. We might even be surprised to see how empowered we become knowing that we've fought those battles internally.

Difficult situations are there like traffic lights in our lives. We're not always going to get the green light. We may have to wait patiently for the red to turn to green and along the way we many need to slow down when we get a little worked up. When we do get the green light we speedily take off. In most cases we forget about all the red lights in our way. The red lights were there for a reason. They have to be there. Everything has a process, a sequence. In the bigger scheme of things patience gets us the furthest.

There is negative and bad for a reason. We need it. It enables us to search within ourselves for courage and make us more determined to overcome these obstacles. We gain enormous strength. No individual has too much of anything .We certainly can never have enough strength hence we will always have these situations to deal with. Looking at the good that will come out of it is what counts. The bad is insignificant. It doesn't make us progress. We leave that behind and focus on our outcome. Our bright green light!!

 This song is about overcoming adversity and getting what we want out of life despite our pitfalls. Who doesn't want to see ALL OF THE LIGHTS?

Exercise your way to a happier life

 According to The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention approximately 19 million Americans suffer from depression. And about 15 percent of the population will suffer from depression at some time during their life.There are many cases where patients suffering from various ailments are in fact suffering from depression which goes undiagnosed. In most cases they are unaware that they are suffering from depression. Some common symptoms of depression include:

• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities

• Change in weight or appetite

• Change in sleeping patterns

• Fatigue of loss of energy

Depression can be prevented and treated through  regular exercise. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins have the ability of producing analgesia- the absence of pain and a feeling of well-being. Regular exercise helps relieve stress, improves sleep,boost's self-esteem and eliminates anxiety. If you're already a regular at the gym or a jogger then good for you! You are highly unlikely to develop depression as your releasing a good supply of endorphins to keep you both healthy and happy. If you're a bit lazy to trek to the gym or 'exercise' the conventional way then why not try some alternative ways.

Here are some fun ways to keep healthy and happy.

1. Taking up a Zumba dance class at your fitness center.( Zumba combines  dance and aerobic elements using high-energy Latin and International beats, think the Macarena on dynamite!)
2. Yoga 
3. Pilates 
4. Pole dancing ( some fitness centers and gyms offer classes)
5. Biking
6. Latin Dancing  ( a great way brush up on some salsa moves and improve your dancing skills)
7. Swimming
8. Gardening ( ideal for homeowners who want to beautify their home and get some exercise in)
9. Tennis 
10. Golf 

You don't have to be a  fitness guru to do regular exercise. Whatever activity you chose should be something you enjoy doing. Chose something that best suits your mood and lifestyle and integrate it into your schedule. This way it becomes part of your daily routine. Exercise in any form is a great de-stresser as well as perker upper.It get's your mind off everything else and helps you to focus on what you're doing. Go ahead and boast about the way you look and feel. Like the old saying goes. You look how you feel. So let's make an effort to feel great ALL the time!

Work up a sweat and improve your mood

Here is my ultimate fitness song. Whether you're dancing, jogging,sporting or even gardening. There's definitely no stopping when in comes to Kanye!

Spending "Me" time

We are officially six months into the new year. With six more left till 2011, some of us have already planned that fabulous summer getaway or booked our warm cozy cabins in Aspen or Big Bear for the holidays. For the rest of us the word 'vacation' is a foreign as the countries we dream of one day visiting. While we spend so much time planning and saving for our vacations is this really the only time we spend thinking and caring about ourselves?

Of course we are now all on the verge of defending ourselves.We're probably saying but "Oh no I had a manicure this week and I got my nails done plus I got my hair colored." Are we really spending "me" time or are we just doing our regular upkeep that we do all the time. Not that pampering yourself or getting your hair done or even going shopping isn't spending time on yourself. By all means it certainly shows you take care of yourself but does this mean we are really just spending time on ourselves ALONE.

No, spending time alone on 'me' isn't actually that impossible. Think about how much time in your day goes towards spending on other people than on yourself. If you spent an hour on yourself that would be a lot right! We're not counting showering, going to the gym or that trip to the grocery where you 'think' you have alone time. We're talking about real 'me' time. That couple of minutes or hour where you do nothing but focus on you. You're not thinking about any chores, tasks and work or bills to pay. You are focusing on you. Have you ever spoken to yourself? It's not insane to do some a couple times a day. Having conversations with yourself is actually a really effective way of you focusing on your personal life and matters that affect you.

Find a quiet space anywhere. Stop whatever you are doing and focus and you. Forget everything and everyone around you. Ask yourself. So how am I doing today? Take the time to gather your thoughts feelings and emotions and respond to question. 'Me' time is extremely essential. Our lifestyles unfortunately do not allow us these precious moments to focus on ourselves. In many instances sadly, we discover that we aren't really suffering from any illness but we are suffering from a lack of 'me' time. We are so burdened by our problems and our work load that our health suffers. We suffer from insomnia, depression and fatigue because we have forgotten about 'me'. Keep in mind that without 'me' there is no one else. There can be no world if we weren't in it. This is why we need to focus on the 'me'. Without me there is no we. Remember.. take time to smell the daisies and love 'me'.

Even this tiny kitten knows to stop and smell

As I always do. I end my blog with a related song. This song could not be more appropriate and you'll agree with me. Who's got a pocket full of sunshine?

Celebrating Failure

You've got to be joking right? How can we "celebrate" our failure. Well no one said that success alone was to be celebrated! There is a quote from Winston Churchill that says "Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” This is precisely why I say we must celebrate our failure. We must channel the same enthusiasm, drive and fervent desire towards working harder to achieve our goal as though it's our very first time trying. When we do things for the first time we usually give it our best shot.We put our all into it. With every failure should be a greater desire to succeed. If we look at the most successful people today, almost all of them had countless failures before they finally succeeded. If they hadn't failed at what they were attempting to do, they would not have succeed at all. It is from these mistakes and setbacks that they learned what not to do. In learning what not to do, they began to discover the secrets that led  to their success.

For every disappointment or failure that we encounter, there are at least three more opportunities waiting for us to discover. For many of us we are so set on focusing on our failure that we forget to look out for these very opportunities waiting for us. Instead we chose to use our energy to moan about it rather than use this disappointment as a stepping stone for future success.

In author Susan Jeffers' book "Embracing Uncertainty" she speaks about how uncertainty can actually be a great thing in our life. In essence she poses the question to her readers; Why would you want to know everything about your life? After all where would all the excitement, fear, sadness and joy be if we knew exactly how our life was going to turn out. This makes perfect sense. Uncertainty, which can also be associated with failure is actually a blessing in disguise. It takes us to new and exciting paths that we never thought possible. It gives us the chance to be creative, free spirited and forces us to look at new alternatives. We learn so many new things about ourselves and learn to reinvent ourselves in different ways. Take this simple example for instance.

An investment banker for a hedge fund is laid off.  He thinks his entire world is falling apart. He decides to use his time off trying to find a job. While jogging he sees an ad for a casting call for fit men for a sports ad.  He attends the casting. The next morning he receives a call from the talent manager. He has just landed himself a spot on National Television that is paying him over 40k. This ad will now run on all major billboards in the country! 

Now had he sat at home behind his computer screen depressed and stressed out about his loss would he have gotten this opportunity? He decided to use this time off to think, he hardly ever got time as an investment banker to jog regularly so now with the extra time on his hands he channeled his energy into his passion for sport. Unaware that this uncertainty would land him his new job, he looked for another way to take his mind off the disappointment. What he really did was use this disappointment to his advantage. Rather than look depressed and forlorn he decided to continue to stay fit and maintain his appearance. In other words failure never got the better of him. He was poised for success and kept looking the part even when he "failed".

Where are you going to be in the scheme of things?Will you be the investment banker turned model or will you wobble in your misery and let invaluable opportunities pass you by. Celebrate your failure. You are really preparing for your success, just celebrating it before it actually happens. As I wrote about in my previous blog. Let's enjoy the real moments life has to offer. Both the good and bad.

I end this  blog with another great song. It's about never giving up and after seeing the movie this kid NEVER said never!

Toast to future success

Taking time to enjoy the real moments

When was the last time you stopped for a second to think about nothing and absolutely nothing at all?
If you find yourself spending more than a minute to figure out the answer to this simple question, then you're more than likely not at all enjoying the real moments of life. Life is filled with many precious and rare moments. We are so caught up with everything else life has to offer that hardly do we ever spend time enjoying the moment. Take this perfect scenario for instance; a bride on her wedding day.

I've heard almost every bride say to me how little she remembers of her wedding day.I've also never seen a calm nor relaxed bride.They all lament about how stressful the days leading up to the wedding are. From the planning, organizing and socializing with family to the actual ceremony, their nerves are constantly raging! Not to mention the actual day. What is supposed to be the happiest and  most relaxed day in a bride and groom's life is actually one of the most nerve racking days they will ever experience. How on earth do we look forward to this day with such anticipation if it ends up this way?

Naturally every bride and groom will have their moments where their emotions will get the better of them.  Do they ever stop to think of what they will remember of this day some twenty years to come? Or are they just so set on perfecting the actual day that they forget to be "happy" to stay "calm" to "enjoy" each moment for what it is meant to be. Truth be told we have no control over what happens at any given moment. Our actions may at times alleviate the situation however, their is still no control over the outcome. The only control we have is  how we chose to look at  and deal with the situation.

The reason I chose that scenario was to show a practical example that we are almost all familiar with. We've all attended  weddings and have seen the aforementioned scenario take place. Are we as oblivious as  the bride and groom, unaware that we are really wasting these precious moments by stressing out and not enjoying them? Maybe we are just too "impatient" for this day to be over so that we can get on with our lives. Again we aren't really enjoying this moment, we're just waiting for it to pass us by so we can say goodbye to it only for years to pass by before we  ask ourselves the question. What was this day like?

Out of the 1440 minutes in a day, five minutes isn't too much to take to stop and "be" in the moment. To be in the moment, we really need to forget everything around us and submerge our self in the present. After all, when these five minutes are over they will now form part of our past. Indeed you will be pleasantly surprised to see just how much five minutes can make a difference in your life. For five minutes you can "experience" something you probably take for granted. Maybe you fail to notice the deadly silence on the train after the doors are tightly shut, or maybe you just noticed that the paint from your door has been peeling,  maybe you realize how beautiful the sky is tonight with just a single radiant star. Whatever you do make one thing a priority each day. Time for real moments.

                                          A Real Moment Capture

As you take the time to enjoy the real moments. Take a listen to one of the best song's about making every day your best life ever. One Republic's "Good Life"